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Many times people who are shy often make other people uncomfortable because they appear standoffish, have problems making friends and many times miss out on opportunities. Overcoming shyness is not painful or frightening.

Creating mental pictures of behaviors and situations that you would like to be involved in is called visualization. You should daydream real life situations. You can imagine situations that are out of character for you. This will help you handle real life situations.

Writing a journal really helps because you can tell yourself to not be shy enough times that you will want to do something about it.

Maintaining eye contact is very important in overcoming shyness. No one will take you serious if you cannot make eye contact with them. You will make a person who you cannot make eye contact with feel they are not important enough for you to talk to and you don’t want to be there in the first place.

Do not do drugs or drink alcohol at a party or dinner. You might become a social butterfly for that night, however, it might make you enjoy it too much that you will get high or drunk during other situations which will only make the problem worse.

You always need to be yourself. You are who you are whether it is being a great talker or you stammer; it is still you. People enjoy you when you are yourself. Being yourself will help you get over your shyness.

Getting over your shyness may seem impossible right now, but with a little effort and the desire to be more outgoing with people, then you can definitely overcome shyness. It is important to know that the fears you feel when shyness hits you are typically always much worse than the reality of the situation.

Have you ever wanted to go up to someone and tell them they are beautiful or how well you like their outfit? On a daily basis you should go up to a total stranger and say something nice. You could compliment a pretty girl on her hair or a guy with his shirt. Try not to worry about what they say, just do it.

For more information or questions in regards to Overcoming Shyness please forward any correspondence to Neil Redfern at www.upbeatandconfident.com

It seems like some guys were just born without being shy and dating comes easy to these guys. Shy guys find it hard to interact with women. Dating tips for shy guys are hard to find.

There are some useful dating tips for shy guys, so you do not have to be nervous. The majority of where tips for dating can be found is on the Internet and books. It is presumed that you are outgoing and good looking. You should have no trouble just walking up to a woman and telling her of your love for her. To be honest. Shy guys who cannot get the courage to ask a gorgeous woman for their phone number are not alone. So there is hope.

Here is a well known fact; women simply adore guys that are shy. There is something about the way a shy guy acts, thinks, blushes, and smiles that just makes them wild. It has been shown that the majority of the guys that are shy actually make a better man in a long term relationship. This is your secret weapon; remember it every time something happens, good or bad, with a woman. You are what most women want, so don’t lose that shy, quiet, timid side of you.

You will not be a pick up artist overnight, so do not expect it to happen. You have to understand that it takes time to be comfortable and not shy around women.

A simple but sincere smile shown to a cute or not so cute woman, no matter where you are helps. Your sincere smile will make it seem like you are easy to talk to and you are friendly. Women will not mind coming and talking to your first, this helps you for future conversations. The hardest thing about being shy and trying to date is finding tips on how to overcome this fear Keep in mind that anything is possible.

For more information and queries about Dating Tips For Shy Guys please visit www.upbeatandconfident.com

Many people are too shy to ask for what they really want, even in simple situations like asking for directions in an Airport, or asking a boss for an extension on a project deadline. The resulting psychological misery that can come from a fear of asking for what you want can be quite significant. Ask any self-help guru and they will tell you that asking for what you want is a key skill because of the effect of eliciting help and support from others. To ask for what you want, you have to get used to the idea that much of the time, people will say no. It’s the sting of that, “no” that stops many people in their tracks. For people who are excessively shy (or even just a little shy) it can be especially difficult to tolerate the frequent “no” when you ask for what you want.

The best solution to this problem is to develop a thicker skin regarding the thoughts that other people have about you. In just a moment I will tell you the best way to develop a thicker skin. But first, I need to mess with your mind a little bit so that you will be receptive to the methods I’m going to explain next. You see, for the great majority of people who read this article, there is very little chance that they will ever overcome their difficulty with asking for what they want. The reason it is that their lives are primarily run by the motivation to escape from pain. This is backwards motivation that robs people of joy and passion in life. The only way to reverse this motivational system is to begin to pursue the things you do want in life and to use that as your primary motivation instead of trying to escape from the things you do not want in life.

Am I telling you that people are lazy and the difficulty with asking for what you want is about a failure to take action? No, not really. Rather, what I’m telling you is that there are very few people who have discovered a very important secret about how human motivation actually brings about change. The secret I am referring to is that we are much more likely to follow through in creating change in our lives if we first ignite our positive emotion and motivation by thinking about the things that we want, rather than thinking about the things we don’t want. Pain-based motivation works for the short term, but it gradually leads to burn-out because of the negative feelings associated with the thoughts about fear and pain.

For the most part, we thrive when our motivation is based primarily on what we do want rather than on escaping from what we don’t want. Unfortunately, most people are driven primarily by the drive to escape from what they don’t want in life. This is what happens when you start each day without having planned specific goals and realistic dreams that you will actively pursue each day. Pursuing what you do want not only brings more of what you want in life, it also puts you in a positive emotional state because of the focus of your mind. You can do better than most people. Read on.

Are you wondering what any of this has to do with developing a thicker skin so that you can ask for what you want? I’ll get to that, so please hang in there for just another minute. You’re going to feel really good when you learn to make this simple shift in your mindset that I’m going to explain before you reach the end of this article. (Did you catch my attempt to cause your brain to be motivated to finish reading this article by offering your mind a sense of positive anticipation?)

The best way to develop a thicker skin is to practice with asking for things. I want you to practice all day, every day, in as many situations as possible. Ask for directions even when you don’t need them. Ask your partner for things that they are unlikely to grant you (warn them first that you will be asking for a lot of things and tell them it’s perfectly fine to say no). Ask for an extra minute to think before you place your order at a drive-through. Ask your co-worker to do you a favor.

Your best bet for developing a thicker skin is going to be rooted in a combination of changes in the way you think and the way you behave. However, psychologists have found that until you change the way you behave, it is very difficult to change how you think. As a result, the absolute best way to develop a thicker skin is to practice asking for things in many different situations until you develop the calluses that make it easier. So, I’m asking you to practice asking questions all day every day. Start by asking questions with people that you know well. You’ll find it easier to start developing a thicker skin with them. For example, you could invite yourself over to a friend’s house instead of inviting them to your home. You could ask a friend if they have something for you to drink when visiting their home. You could ask your spouse to do you a favor. Each time, after you ask your question or make your request, mentally pat yourself on the back to reinforce your behavior and the new thinking that says it’s okay to do what you just did.

You may be wondering how you can follow through with this assignment when you have such a difficult time getting yourself to ask for what you want in the first place. If your motivation becomes strong enough, you’ll find yourself doing incredible feats. So I’m asking you to begin the process of becoming less sensitive about asking for what you want by first building powerful motivation. You might think of the process like swimming across a small but very cold lake. When you first jump into the lake, you’ll feel the pain of the cold biting at your skin. However, as you swim your body will heat up. By the time you reach the other shore you may not feel like the water is so cold.
To get yourself to dive into that freezing-cold lake, you need to develop a powerful expectation of something positive that is yet to come when you get to the other side of that lake. Start by using the power of your mind to see yourself in the future, having already accomplished your goal of becoming a more assertive person. Imagine what it will feel like when you can hold your head high and ask for what you want without flinching or feeling anxious afterwards. You need to become very certain of your vision for the future in order for your motivation to be strong. Instead of simply thinking, “what if I succeed?” think of your mental image as something that is a certain to come about, destined to come into fruition if you simply take the action of practicing asking questions each day. By tying this motivation to the actual active ingredient of change, you will find yourself able to begin practicing.

Before I send you on your way to get to work on this method, I want to share two other tips that can be useful in changing how you think. Remember, you won’t have much success with changing what you think unless you take action on those changes. But as you develop a thicker skin, use the following techniques to speed your progress. When you’re trying to work up the nerve to ask for what you want, imagine how someone else would do it. Imagine a person you know who is very assertive and outgoing. Think about how that person would ask for what they want. Imagine what that person’s mindset would be if someone challenged them and said they were asking for too much. The other technique is simply to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Ask yourself if you would be offended or annoyed if you ask for what you are about to ask for. In most cases the answer is no. Simply reminding yourself of the fact that other people are not bothered by your requests can be helpful. Psychological research has even found that when we do a favor for someone else, we usually like that person a little more than we did prior to having done the favor for them. Now it’s time to get to work. Create a vision for a certain future that is 100% tide to the active ingredient of practicing until you become used to asking for what you want. Then keep a log where you record your progress by giving yourself a checkmark for each day that you successfully practiced asking for what you want at least three times. You will find the results well worth your while because this is the kind of investment that lasts for a lifetime.

Dr. Todd Snyder is a clinical psychologist who specializes in the treatment of Social Anxiety Disorder. He is the creator of the Social Anxiety Secrets System that provides a complete self-help and personal motivation system for overcoming symptoms of social anxiety. A free mini-course can be found at his website, www.socialanxietysecrets.com